Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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