$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
