i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
