3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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