i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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