NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Still dying that you shit outside
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
