yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
