I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
