apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
