The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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