Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
