I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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