I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
