she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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