Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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