She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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