so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
