Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
