i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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