YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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