Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
