So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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