i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
