Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

A Penis?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..

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(716): View more from New York

i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.

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(813): View more from Florida

There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful

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(410): View more from Maryland

We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway

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(770): View more from Georgia

How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested

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(317): View more from Indiana

I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker

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