"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
