Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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