I wish i was in the wii world.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
