the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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