Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
