Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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