Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
