you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
