how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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