Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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