I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
