Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
