I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
