He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
