I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
