so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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