Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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