And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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