I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
