I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
