Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize