My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
