I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Two words: blizzard sex
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
