what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
