margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
