is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
