i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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