I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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