Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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