But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I bet he comes in French.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize