Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
