Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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