I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
