In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize