Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
