honey bunches of taint.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
